The Breakfast Club, Darkwing Duck Version
by DarkwingFan
Summary: This here is a tribute to the 80's cult classic The Breakfast Club using the characters from Darkwing Duck. Darkwing plays the brainer, Clovis-the Princess, Sara Bellum the jock, Splatter Phoenix-the basket case and Negaduck. Original done by John Hughes.
1. Chapter 1

The Breakfast Club

Darkwing Duck version

By Darkwingfan

Written originally by John Hughes

A tribute to the original movie

"...And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going though..." David Bowie

Darkwing Duck's POV

Saturday, March 24, 1992. S.H.U.S.H Central, Saint Canard, Calisota. 83315.

Dear Mr. Grizzlikof...we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write this essay telling you who we think we are, what do you care? You see us as you want to see us...in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a crime fighter, a secretary, a doctor, a painter and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at seven o' clock this morning. We were brainwashed...

The first car pulled up to S.H.U.S.H headquarters with Clovis and Taurus Bulba sitting there.

"I can't believe you can't get me out of this...I mean it's so absurd I have to be here on a Saturday! It's not like I'm a defective or anything..." Clovis whined.

"I'll make it up to you Cloves..ditching class to go shopping doesn't make you a defective. Have a good day!" Taurus said, handing her a bag.

Clovis rolled her eyes as she got out of the car and walked up the steps towards the headquarters.

The second car pulled up to the building with Darkwing Duck and Launchpad.

"Is this the first time or the last time we do this?" Launchpad asked, looking over at Darkwing Duck.

Clearly, the mighty masked mallard was upset...and totally embarrassed.

He looked over at his sidekick. "Last..."

"Well get in there and use the time to your advantage..."

"Launchpad...we're not supposed to study; we just have to sit there and do nothing."

"Well DW you better figure out a way to study."

Darkwing's daughter Gosalyn stood up in her back seat. "Yeah!"

Darkwing gave his daughter the eye.

"Well go!" Launchpad screamed as Darkwing got out of the car and proceeded up the steps.

The car behind Launchpad's belonged to Dr.Sara Bellum and her father.

"Sara...I screwed around...scientists screw around, there's nothing wrong with that. Except you got caught."

"Yeah, J.Gander already reemed me, alright?"

"You wanna get hurt? You wanna get other people hurt? J.Gander Hooter might consider pulling you out of S.H.U.S.H's Research Department!"

Sara Bellum got out of the car and headed up the stairs as Negaduck walked up to the building, not looking both ways as he crossed the street.

Another car pratically slammed on it's breaks as Negs walked onto the sidewalk and proceeded up the stairs.

Splatter Phoenix stepped out of the car that just pulled up, all dressed in black.

She walks up to the front of the car to look into the front, only to have the car drive away!

The S.H.U.S.H resource center sat six tables in two rows of three.

Clovis was sitting at the front table, Darkwing comes in and sits at the table behind her.

Sara Bellum comes in next and points to the chair beside Clovis.

She shrugs as Sara sits down.

Negaduck walks into the resource center next, touching everything is sight and taking anything he pleased too.

He then looks at the tables and who was sitting where, then he walked over to where Darkwing was sitting and points to the table opposite of him.

Darkwing reluctantly gets up and goes to the other table opposite of his evil twin.

Negaduck sits down and puts his feet up.

Splatter Phoenix walked in and went to the back corner table behind Darkwing.

Sara and Clovis look at eachother and snicker.

Darkwing looks at her with confusion, then turns away...basically wondering what her problem was!

Then in walks a hugh grizzly bear by the name of Agent Grizzlikof, holding a stack of papers in his left hand.

He begins addressing the group in a disrespecting manner.

"Well...well...well, here we are! I want to congratulate you for being on time..."

Clovis raises her hand..."Excuse me, Sir? I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention, but...um...I don't think I belong in here..."

Of course Grizzlikof didn't care.

"It is now seven o six. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you're here. To ponder the error of your ways..."

Negaduck spits into the air and catches it, making Clovis sick.

She was about to speak her mind when...

"You will NOT talk."

Darkwing was about to move to another chair when...

"You will not MOVE from these seats."

Griz then looked at Negaduck, who was about to nod off as he put his feet up on the chair next to him.

"AND YOU..." He yelled, taking the second chair away from the evil duck. "will NOT sleep! Alright people, we're gonna try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay--no less than a thousand words--describing to me who you think you are."

"Is this a test?" Negaduck asked.

Griz paid no attention as he passed out the paper and pens.

"And when I say essay, I mean essay. I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that CLEAR Negaduck?"

The yellow clad duck looked up..."CRYSTAL!!"

"Good! Maybe you'll learn a bit about yourself. Maybe you'll even decide whether or not you care to return."

Darkwing raised his hand and stood up.

"You know, I can answer that right now Sir..that'd be "NO" no for me. 'Cause..."

"Sit down Duck!"

Darkwing sat down and muttered under his breath..."Thank you Sir."

Grizzlikof continued..."My office is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised. Any questions?"

"Yeah Griz, I got a question. Does Phineas Sharp know that you raid his wardrobe?" Negaduck asked.

"I'll give you the answer to that question, Negaduck, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns." Grizzlikof left the resource room, leaving the door open as he walked into his own office.

To be continued


	2. Getting to know and hate

The Breakfast Club

Darkwing Duck version

By Darkwingfan

Original writing done by John Hughes

A tribute to the original Breakfast Club which is a great movie for sure!

Part 2

"That man...is a brownie hound!" Negaduck commented.

Everyone in that room now felt a little awkward as they began to settle in for a long day ahead, but something didn't quite sound right...the sound of snapping.

Darkwing turns to find Splatter Phoenix biting her hands.

Negaduck also looks at Splatter and soon the whole room is looking at her.

Negaduck couldn't help but speak..."You keep eating your hand and you're not gonna to be hungry for lunch."

Splatter spit one of her nails out at Negaduck.

"I've seen you before, you know..." Negaduck finished.

Griz looked out his office door.

Darkwing pondered as he played with his pen.

"Who are you? who are you? I'am a duck!"

He looked over at his evil twin, who looked back puzzled.

Pulling out the pen from his beak, he then proceeded to take off his purple jacket.

Negaduck was also about to do the same.

Darkwing pulled up his jacket and acted like he was cold while Negaduck took off his.

"It's the shits, huh?" Darkwing asked, trying to break the ice as the cold stare of Negs continued.

Then the evil duck crumpled up his paper and threw it over Clovis' head.

Both Clovis and Sara Bellum knew they were being harassed, but didn't acknowledge it.

Then Negs started playing air guitar to the song Sunshine of your love and sang..."Nah nah nah nah nah, nah, nah, nah, nah nah nah,"

Clovis rolled her eyes..."I can't believe this is really happening to me!"

Suddenly Negaduck stopped singing..."OH, SHIT! What're we s'posed to do if we hafta take a piss?"

Clovis now couldn't believe this! "Please..."

Negaduck's hands went under the table, pulling back his feathers. "If you gotta go, you gotta go!"

Clovis laid her head down on the table, not wanting to see what was about to happen. "Oh My God!"

Sara Bellum also couldn't believe it...but she stood up. "Hey, yer not urinating in here man!"

"Don't talk...don't talk. It makes it crawl back up!" Negaduck said, concentrating on his business.

"You whip it out and you're dead before the first drop hits the floor" Sara said.

Negaduck lets out a mocking gasp and says, "You're pretty sexy when you get angry!"

Then he turns to Darkwing Duck.

"Hey, Duncewing...why don't you go close that door. We'll get Bulba's property--impregnated!"

Sara didn't like where this was going...and decided to speak up! "Hey! HEY!"

Negaduck looked at Sara annoyed! "What?"

"If I lose my temper, you're totalled, Duck!"

"Totally?" Negaduck asked, mockingly.

"Totally!"

"Why don't you just shut up! Nobody here is interested!" Clovis said as she turned back around in her chair.

Sara also sat back down at her seat. "Really...Buttface!"

Now Negaduck wanted to start ruffling some feathers..."Well hey Brainiac, what'd you do get in here? Forget to add the key element?"

Darkwing knew where this whole confrontation was going. "Uh, excuse me guys? I think we should just write our papers..."

Nobody paid any attention as the now soon to be argument escalated further between Negs and Sara.

"Look, just because you live in here doesn't give you the right to be a pain in the tail feathers...SO KNOCK IT OFF!!" Sara yelled.

"It's a free country..." Negaduck answered back.

"He's just doing it to get a rise out of you...just ignore him!' Clovis said to Sara.

"Sweets...you couldn't ignore me if you tried!"

Clovis rolled her eyes annoyingly at Negaduck as he got ready to annoy the two girls even more.

"So...so! Are you girls like...one of those people? Steady dates? Lo--vers? Come on Scientist, level with me. Do you slip her the hot, tongue injection!"

That did it as both girls turned around pissed!!

"GO TO HELL!" Clovis screamed.

"ENOUGH!" Said Sara.

Grizzlikof looked out his door upon hearing the screams from the other room.

"HEY! What's going on in there? Smug little pricks."

Sara turned away from Negaduck, her blood pressure practically up the roof now over that Lesbian comment. "Scumbag!"

Negaduck was unmoved by that last remark as he walked over to the railing and sat down on it.

"What do you say we close that door. We can't have any kind of a party with Grizzlikof checking us out every few seconds."

"Well, you know the door's s'posed to stay open..." Darkwing intervened.

"So what Dipwing!?"

"So why don't you just shut up! There's four other people in here you know..." Sara said.

"God, you can count. See! I knew you had to be smart to be a...a Doctor."

Sara was just about ready to break...but held it in for her sake. "Who the hell are you to judge anybody anyway?"

"Really." Clovis added.

"You know, Negaduck...you don't even count. I mean if you disappeared forever it wouldn't make any difference. You may as well not even exist in this city." Said Sara.

Negaduck looked hurt...but didn't show it.

"Well...I'll just run right out and join the city council...maybe the St.Canard prep club too..."

Sara and Clovis laughed.

"No, they wouldn't take you."

"I'm hurt."

"You know why guys like you knock everything..." Clovis stated.

"Oh, this should be stunning..." Negaduck said...mostly to himself.

"It's 'cause you're afraid!"

"Oh, God! You richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy in activities!"

"You're a big coward!" Clovis continued.

Meanwhile Darkwing felt left out...so he started blabbering about how many clubs he was involved in. "I'm in the St.Canard City Council..."

"See you're afraid they won't take you. You don't belong so you just have to dump all over it..."

"Well...it's wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes...now would it?"

"Well you wouldn't know...you don't even know any of us."  
"Well, I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fucking clubs!"

"HEY, let's watch the mouth, huh?" Said Sara.

Darkwing once again contributed to this worthy cause of clubs..."I'm also a member of the S.H.U.S.H. Physics club too..."

Negaduck looked over at Darkwing then back to Clovis. "S'cuse me a sec...What are you babbling about Duncewing?"

"Well, what I said was...I'm in the St.Canard City Council, The St.Canard Crime fighters association and the S.H.U.S.H Physics Club..."

Negaduck nodded and turned back to Clovis. "Hey...Cherry...do you belong to the S.H.U.S.H Physics Club?"

"That's an academic club..." Clovis said a little bit snobbishly.

"So?"

"So...academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs."

"Oh, but to dorks like Darkwing...they are! What do you guys do in your club?"

"In physics, um, we talk about physics...about the properties of physics." Darkwing said.

"So it's sort of social...demented and sad, but social. Right?"

"Yeah, well, I guess you could consider it a social situation. I mean there are other guys in my club and uh, at the end of the year we have, um, you know, a big banquet, at the, uh, at the Hilton."

"You load up, you party..."

"Well, no, we get dressed up...I mean, but, we don't...we don't get high."

"Only burners like you get high..." Clovis added.

Darkwing continued with his story..."And, uh, I didn't have any shoes. So I had to borrow Launchpad's. It was kinda weird 'cause I was once told that it's unhealthy to wear other people's shoes. And, uh, my cousin Kent...my cousin Kendall from, uh, Gooseville... he got high once and you know, he started eating like really weird foods. And, uh, and then he just felt like he didn't belong anywhere. You know, kinda like, you know "Twilight Zone" kinda."

Clovis laughed..."Sounds like you!"

Sara was becoming concerned with all this talk. "Look, you guys keep your talking and Grizzlikof's gonna come right in here...I've got a science project due this Saturday and I'm not gonna miss it on account of you boneheads..."

"Oh...and wouldn't that be a bite...missing a whole science fair meet!" Negaduck moaned in fake agony.

"Well you wouldn't know anything about it, faggot! You've never competed in your whole life!"

Negaduck pretended to cry. "Oh, I know...I feel all empty inside because of it. I have such a deep admiration for people who fool around with God's creations."

"Ahhhhh...you'd never miss it. You don't have any goals."

"Oh but I do Sara. I wanna be--just--like--you. I figure all I need's a lobotomy and some whites!"

Darkwing became interested. "You wear whites?"

Sara became annoyed. "No I don't wear whites, I wear the required uniform."

"Whites!" Darkwing pointed out!

"SHUT UP DARKWING DUCK."

Suddenly they all hear Grizzlikof moving around in the hall so Negaduck quickly took a seat between Sara and Clovis.

He folded his hands in front of him on the table and acted all innocent until Griz was no longer heard.

To be continued!


	3. Just keep adding Negaduck

The Breakfast Club

Darkwing Duck Version

By Darkwingfan

Original done by John Hughes

Once Grizzlikoff was no longer heard in the hall, Negaduck got up and walked towards the double doors that separated the resource center from the hallway.

"You know there's not s'posed to be any monkey business!" Darkwing Duck said.

Negaduck turned and pointed at Darkwing..."Young man...have you finished your paper?"

He then went back towards the doors, looking out to see if the coast was clear, then proceeded to remove a screw from the door.

"What are you gonna do?" Clovis asked.

"Drop dead I hope!" answered Sara.

Meanwhile Grizzlikof stopped by the fountain to get a drink.

He stood up and checked how he looked from a fire hose window.

Doing a muscular pose he utters some manly gibberish..."Marsupilami!" and starts heading back down the hall for which he had came!

Everyone in the resource center all had their eyes on Negaduck, who was still fooling around with the double doors.

"Negs...that's, that's S.H.U.S.H. property there...you know, it doesn't belong to us. It's something not to be toyed with." Darkwing said.

The door slamed shut and Negaduck ran back to his seat.

"That's very funny, come on, fix it!" Sara said.

"You should really fix that!" Darkwing added.

"Am I a genius?" Negaduck asked, looking for some praise.

"No, you're an asshole!" Sara answered.

"What a funny girl!"

"FIX THE DOOR NEGADUCK!" Sara yelled.

"EVERYONE just shhhhhhhhh!" Negaduck urged.

Grizzlikof was just about to head back into his office when he heard the screams coming from the resource center.

Turning around he saw that the door was closed shut too!!

"I've been here before, I know what I'm doing!" Negaduck said.

"No! Fix the door, get up there and fix it!!" Sara continued to argue.

"SHUT UP!" Negaduck screamed back.

"GOD DAMNIT!!" Grizzlikof screamed as well...which got everyone's attention.

The door flew open and in walked one hell of an angry grizzly bear.

"Why is that door closed?"

Nobody answered.

"Why is that door closed?" Griz asked again.

"How're we s'posed to know? We're not s'posed to move, right?" Negaduck said as he shrugged.

Griz then turned to Clovis. "Why?"

"We were just sitting here, like we're s'posed to..." Clovis answered.

Griz looked around the room, looking for someone to give him a decent answer.

"Who closed that door?"

"I think a screw fell out of it..." Negaduck said.

"It's just closed, Sir..." Said Sara

Griz then looked at Splatter..."WHO?"

Splatter let out a squeak and slammed her face down on the table, placing her arms over her head in hiding.

"She doesn't talk, sir." Negaduck said.

Then it dawned on Griz who closed that door and walked up to Negaduck. "Give me that screw..."

"I don't have it..." Negs said, his voice dripping with denial.

"You want me to yank you outta that seat and shake it out of you?"

"I don't have it...screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place..."

"Give it to me, Negaduck..."

"Excuse me, sir, why would anybody want to steel a screw?" Clovis asked.

"Watch it, young lady..." Grizzlikof growled as he headed towards the door.

He held the door open with one hand while the other reached over and grabbed a folding chair, placing it in front of the door.

"The door's way too heavy, sir." Negaduck said as the door slammed shut on Grizzlikof.

"GOD DAMNIT!" Griz swore as everyone in the resource room laughed...but quickly stopped when Griz came back in.

"Sara Bellum...get up here. Come on, front and center, let's go."

Sara gets up and walks over to the bear.

"Hey, how come Sara gets to get up? If she gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!" Negaduck said as Sara and Grizzlikof work on moving a magazine rack into the doorway.

"Okay, now, watch the magazines!" Griz says.

"It's out of my hands..." Negaduck said, sighing.

Successfully they get the rack into the doorway which is now blocked!!

"That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir." Negaduck pointed out.

Griz gave it a though for a minute then turns to Sara..."All right, what are you doing with this? Get this outta here for God's sake! What's the matter with you? Come on!"

"You know the building comes equipped with fire exits at either end of the resource room." Darkwing Duck pointed out as Negaduck glared at him.

"Show Dick some respect!"

Once the magazine rack was back in it's place, Griz shoved Sara back to her seat.

"I expected a little more from a varsity scientist!" He growled before turning his attention back to Negaduck. "You're not fooling anybody, Negaduck! The next screw that falls out is gonna be you!"

Grizzlikof turns to leave, but didn't get far as Negaduck whispered under his breath three words, "Eat my shorts."

"What was that?" Griz asked, turning around to face the cold hearted criminal.

Negaduck leaned back in his seat and repeated the words again...this time a little bit louder..."EAT...MY...SHORTS!"

"You just bought yourself another Saturday, mister!"

"Oh, Christ."

"You just bought one more right there!"

"Well, I'm free the Saturday after that...beyond that, I'm gonna have to check my calendar!"

"Good! 'Cause it's gonna be filled, we'll keep goin'! You want another one? Say the word, just say the word! Instead of prison, you'll be coming here! Are you through?"

"NO!" Negaduck answered.

"I'm doing society a favor!"

"SO?"

"That's another one, right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?"

"YES!"

"You got it! You got another one, right there! That's another one pal!"

Clovis however was getting worried...why, she had no idea!

"Cut it out...stop."

"You through?" Griz asked once more.

"Not even close, BUD!"

"Good! You got one more, right there!"

"Do you really think I give a shit?"

"Another..."

Negaduck continued to glare at Grizzlikof.

"You through?" Griz asked again.

"How many is that?" Negs wondered.

Darkwing Duck decided to answer that..."That's seven including the one when we first came in and you asked Mr.Grizzlikof here whether Phineas Sharp knew that he raided his closet."

"Now it's eight...and you stay out of this!" Griz said...now speaking to both twin duckies.

"Excuse me, Griz, it's seven!" Darkwing tried to clear it up.

"Shut up, peewee!" Griz said as he then held up two fingers at Negaduck. "You're mine Negaduck...for two months I gotcha! I gotcha!"

"What can I say? I'm thrilled!" Negaduck said with mock enthusiasm.

"Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you want these people to believe. You know something, Negaduck? You ought to spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself and a little less time trying to impress people. You might be better off. All right, that's it! I'm gonna be right outside those doors. The next time I hafta come in here...I'm cracking skulls!"

Negaduck mouthed the words 'I'm cracking skulls' which got another glare from Grizzlikof before he left the room.

Splatter Phoenix lifted her head from her hiding place just in time to see the large bear leave.

"FUCK YOU!" Negaduck yelled when the door slammed shut.

Grizzlikof stood there for a second to collect his thoughts before heading back into his office.

To be continued!


	4. Clovis gets cornered

The Breakfast Club

Darkwing Duck Version

By Darkwingfan

Original done by John Hughes

The clock on the wall read a quarter to eight as the gang tries to keep themselves occupied.

Negaduck takes his red hat and sets fire to it...then he lit a cigarette.

Clovis stares into dreamland, deeply thinking.

Darkwing Duck plays with his duck hood.

Sara Bellum plays with her labcoat while Splatter Phoenix wraps a string around her finger, making it turn purple.

Negaduck finally puts out the fire on his hat, then plays air guitar while smoking.

Splatter draws a picture of an old fashion bridge.

Sara plays paper football and cheers silently.

Splatter finishes her picture by shaking dandruff from her hair.

Finally...the boredom gets to everyone and they soon fall asleep.

Later on that day, Grizzlikof walked in to find everyone sleeping and was NOT impressed!

"WAKE UP!!"

Nobody moved a muscle.

"Who has to go to the lavatory?"

Everyone raised their hands.

The clock now said 10:22 as everyone in the resource room tries to stay awake.

Sara Bellum is doing some stretches while Negaduck is ripping through a book, literally!

He tossed the pages around, grabbing the attention of Sara.

"That's real intelligent." she said, looking up.

"You're right...it's wrong to destroy literature...it's such fun to read...and, Molet really pumps my nads." He said, continuing to pull out the pages.

"Mole-yare" Clovis corrected him.

"I love his work!" Darkwing added in.

Negaduck tosses the rest of the pages at Darkwing, then picks up a card catalogue and begins taking cards out.

"Who cares! Nothing to do when you're locked in a vacancy."

"Speak for yourself!" Sara retorted back.

"Do you think I speak for you? I don't even know your language!"

Sara turned to Clovis and asked, "Hey, you grounded tonight?"

Clovis shrugged. "I don't know, my mom said I was but Taurus said to just blow her off."

"Big party as Moliarty's, parents are in Europe. Should be pretty wild."

"Yeah?"  
"Yeah, can you go?"

"I doubt it!" Clovis sighed.

"How come?" Sara wondered.

"Well 'cause if I do what my mother tells me not to do, it's because Taurus says it's ok. There's like this whole big monster deal, it's endless and it's a total drag. It's like any minute...corruption."

Negaduck spoke up..."Who do you like better?"

"What?"

"You like Taurus better than your mom?"

"They're both strict."

"No. I mean, if you had to choose between them."

"I dunno. I'd probably go live by myself. I mean, I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me...it's like they use me just to get back at each other."

"HA!!" Splatter Phoenix finally spoke, shocking everyone in the room.

Splatter blows the hair out of her eyes and grins.

"Shut up!" Clovis said to Splatter.

"You're just feeling sorry for yourself." Sara said cold heartedly.

"Yeah, well if I didn't nobody else would!"

"Aw, you're breaking my heart."

"Scientist..." Negaduck jumps down and looks Sara in the eye. "You get along with your parents?"

"Well if I say yes, I'm an idiot...right?"

"You're an idiot anyway...But if you say you get along with your parents well you're a liar too!" Negaduck turned and walked away from Sara...but didn't get far as Sara pushed him.

"You know something, Duck...if we weren't at S.H.U.S.H Headquarters right now, I'd waste you!"

Negaduck points his middle finger to the floor. "Can you hear this? Want me to turn it up?" He then turned his hand so it was pointing up, now giving Sara the bird.

Darkwing suspected a sudden confrontation and placed a hand on both shoulders of Negaduck and Sara.

"Hey guys...I mean..."  
Sara pushes away from Darkwing.

"I don't like my parents either, I don't...I don't get along with them...their idea of parental compassion is just...you know, wacko!"  
Negaduck turns to his counterpart..."Dorkwing..."

"Yeah?"

"You are a parent's wet dream, Ok?" Negaduck walks away.

"Well, that's a problem!" Darkwing retorted back...trying his best to defend himself.

"Look, I can see you getting all bunged up for them making you wear these kinda clothes. But face it, you're a Neo-Maxi-Zoom-Dweebie! What would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen?" Negaduck asked, looking Darkwing in the face.

"Why do you have to insult everybody?" Sara asked, suddenly becoming annoyed.

"I'm being honest, asshole! I would expect you...to know the difference!"

"Yeah, well, he's gotta name!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

To Darkwing, Negaduck asked, "What's your name?"

"Drake!"

"See?" Sara asked.

"My condolences..." Negaduck walked away!

Clovis was now currious as to what Negs' real name was?

"What's your name?"

"What's yours?" Negaduck asked back.

"Clovis!

"Kl-ovis?"

"Clovis...it's a family name!"

"Nooo, it's a fat girl's name!"

"Well thank you..."

"You're welcome!"

"I'm NOT fat!"

"Well not at present but I could see you really pushing maximum density! You see, I'm not sure if you know this...but there are two kinds of fat people. There's fat people who were born to be fat, and then there's fat people that were once thin but they became fat...so when you look at them you can sorta see that thin person inside! You see, you're gonna get married, you're gonna squeeze out a few cows and then..." Negaduck mimes becoming fat, causing Clovis to give him the finger.

"Oh...obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl!"

"I'm not that pristine!" Clovis said resentfully.

Negaduck kneels down closer to Clovis.

"Are you a virgin? I'll bet you a million dollars that you are! Let's end the suspense! Is it gonna be a white weddin?" Negaduck did his best Billy Idol impression.

"Why don't you just shut up?"

"Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth? Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off...hoping to GOD your parents don't walk in?"

Clovis started to feel uncomfortable.

"Do you want me to puke?"

But Negaduck continued..."Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Bulba's in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night?"

Sara heard enough. "Leave her alone!"

Negaduck slowly stood up and faced Sara.

"I said, leave her alone!"

"You gonna make me?" Negaduck asked, walking over to where Sara stood.

"Yeah!"

"You and how many of your friends?"

"Just me, just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor! Anytime you're ready, pal!"

Negaduck goes to hit Sara, but Sara gets Negs to the ground using a surprise wrestling move.

"I don't wanna get into this with you man..." Negs growled under his teeth.

"Why not?" Sara asked, getting up and allowing Negs to get up.

"Cause' I'd kill you...it's real simple. I'd kill you and your fucking S.H.U.S.H. organization would sue me and it would be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother.

"Chicken shit!" Sara mumbled under her breath as she walked away.

Negaduck takes out a switchblade and opens it...causing Sara to turn around just in time to see Negaduck stab the chair.

"Let's end this right now. You don't talk to her...you don't look at her and you don't even THINK about her! You understand me?" Sara yelled.

"I'm trying to help her!" Negs answered back.

To be continued!


	5. Family isn't always what it seems

The Breakfast Club

Darkwing Duck version

by Darkwingfan

Originally done by John Hughes

The tension in the air quickly faded as Carl the janitor walks into the room to take out the trash.

He looked over at Darkwing Duck.

"Darkwing, how you doing?"

"Your dad works here?" Negaduck asked.

Darkwing is clearly embarrassed.

"Uh, Carl?"

"What?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure..."

"How does one become a janitor?"

"You wanna be a janitor?"  
"No I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Sara Bellum here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts..."

"Oh, really? You guys think I'm just some untouchable peasant? Peon? Huh? Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for the past eight years I've learned a couple of things...I look through your letters, I look through your lockers...I listen to your conversations, you don't know that but I do...I'am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends. By the way, that clock's twenty minutes fast!" Carl pointed up to the clock as he left.

Everyone in the room groaned except Negaduck, who smiled.

"Shit!" Sara muttered under her breath.

The clock now says 11:30 as Agent Grizzlikof gets up to leave.

Meanwhile in the resource room, Negaduck starts to whistle a marching tune and everyone joins in.

But the fun didn't last as Grizzlikof walked in, Negaduck whistles Beethoven's 5th.

"All right girls, that's thirty minutes for lunch..." Griz growls.

"Here?" Sara asked, pointing to the table in front of her.

"Here.."

"Well I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir!"

"Well, I don't care what you think, Sara!"

Negaduck now spoke up..."Uh, Dick? Excuse me, Rich...will milk be made available to us?"

"We're extremely thirsty sir..." Sara piped in.

"I have a very low tolerance for dehydration." Clovis added.

"I've seen her dehydrate sir, it's pretty gross." Sara finished.

Negaduck stood up..."Relax, I'll get it!"

"Ah, ah, ah grab some wood there, bub! What do you think, I was born yesterday? You think I'm gonna have you roaming these halls?"

Negaduck quickly sat down as Griz looks around the room, then he pointed at Sara.

"You!"

After Sara, Griz pointed at Splatter. "And you! Hey! What's her name? Wake her! Wake her up! Come on, on your feet Missy! Let's go! This is no rest home!"

Splatter gets up.

"There's a soft drink machine in the staff room lounge. Let's go!"

Sara and Splatter head out to get the drinks.

"So, what's your poison?" Sara asked, trying to make conversation but Splatter doesn't answer her.

"What do you drink?"

Again Splatter doesn't answer.

"Okay...forget I asked..."

"Vodka..." Splatter finally answers.

"Vodka? When do you drink vodka?"

"Whenever..."

"A lot?"

Splatter smiled..."Tons!"

"Is that why you're here today?"

Splatter once again goes silent.

"Why are you here?"

"Why are you here?" Splatter snaped back.

They stop and Sara leans up against the wall.

"Um, I'm here today...because uh, because J.Gander Hooter and Agent Grizzlikoff don't want me to blow my ride. See I get treated differently because uh, Director Hooter thinks I'm a Nobel Prize winner. So does Agent Griz. I'm not a winner because I wanna be one...I'm a winner because I got strength and wisdom. Kinda like a...uh...brainer. That's about how Involved I'am in what's happening to me."

"Yeah? That's very interesting. Now why don't you tell me why you're really in here."  
Sara got off the wall and continued walking towards the staff room lounge.

"Forget it!"

Clovis, Darkwing and Negaduck are all sitting around waiting for the pop.

"Clovis...you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitus of the nuts? It's pretty tasty..." Negaduck asked.

"No thank you..." Clovis answered back.

"How do you think he rides a bike?" Negs continued.

Clovis rolled her eyes and turned away in disgust.

She really didn't want to hear anymore sexual bullshit coming from St.Canard's most dangerous and unpredictable criminal.

"Oh, Clovis...would you ever consider dating a guy like this?"

"Can't you just leave me alone?" Clovis cried out.

But Negaduck just kept on going..."I mean if he had a great personality and was a good dancer and had a cool car...Although you'd probably have to ride in the back seat 'cause his nuts would ride shotgun."

"You know what I wish I was doing?" Clovis asked suddenly changing the topic, or at least tried to change the topic.

"Op, watch what you say..."

"I wish I was a plane..."

"Darkwing Duck here..."

"to France."

"is a cherry."

"A cherry? I'm not a cherry." Darkwing said defensively.

"When have you ever gotten laid?" Negs asked.

"I've laid, lotsa times!"

"Name one!"

"She lives in Canada, met her at Niagara Falls. You wouldn't know her."

"Ever laid anyone around here?"

Darkwing shushes Negaduck and points towards Clovis who's back was still turned.

"Oh, you and Clovis, DID IT!!"

Clovis turned around.

"What are you talking about?" She asked angrily.

"Nothin' nothin!" Darkwing quickly said to Clovis then turned to Negaduck. "Let's just drop it, we'll talk about it later!"

"NO! Drop what, what're you talking about?"

"Well, Darkwing's trying to tell me that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area, that presently you and he are, riding the hobby horse!" Negaduck explained.

"Little pig!" Clovis spat.

"No, I'm not! I'm not! Negs said I was a cherry and I said I wasn't, that's it, that's all that was said!" Darkwing said, now fearing Clovis' sudden wrath.

"Well then what were you motioning to Clovis for?" Negaduck asked.

"You know I don't appreciate this very much, Duncewing."

"He is lying!" Darkwing said, trying to state his case.

"Oh, you weren't motioning to Clovis?"

"You know he's lying, right?"

"Were you or were you not motioning to Clovis?"

"Yeah, but it was only...was only because I didn't want her to know that I was a virgin, okay?"

Negaduck just stares at Darkwing Duck in utter shock.

"Excuse me for being a virgin, I'm sorry..." Darkwing said, lowering his head in embarrassment.

Clovis laughed. "Why didn't you want me to know you were still a virgin?"

"Because it's personal business, it's my personal, private business."

"Well Darkwing, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business."

"I think it's okay for a guy to be a virgin..."

Negaduck looked surprised.

"You do?" Darkwing asked, his eyes lighting up.

Clovis smiled and nodded.

A few minutes later Splatter and Sara returned with the beverages and everyone begins having their lunch.

Clovis takes her lunch out of a small shopping bag.

Negaduck looks over her shoulder.

"What's in there?" He asked.

"Guess, where's your lunch?" Clovis asked.

"You're wearing it!"

"You're nauseating!!"

Negaduck then grabbed a pop and tossed it over to Splatter who catches it without even looking up then turns his attention back to Clovis as she set up a sushi platter.

"What's that?" He asked, his beak contorted with sickness.

"Sushi..."

"Sushi?"

"Rice, uh, raw fish and seaweed."

"You won't accept a guys tongue in your mouth and you're gonna eat that?"

"Can I eat?"

"I don't know...give it a try."

Then it was Sara's turn to take out her lunch.

Negaduck watched with amazement at just how much food she had...a few sandwiches, a large bag of potato chips, an apple, a banana, a full bag of cookies and large carton of chocolate milk.

Meanwhile Splatter opens her pop and it fizzes all over the place.

She loudly slurps it up off the table and her fingers.

Sara turned around to see Negaduck looking at her in awe.

"What's your problem?" She asked.

Splatter continued to make her sandwich, which technically was already made, but she wasn't really in the mood for meat.

She opened up her sandwich and tossed the slice of meat aside, which landed on a sculpture of J.Gander Hooter behind her.

Then she opened up some pixie stixs and pours the sugar candy on the bread, followed by a handful of Quack'n Crunch.

Everyone in the room stared at her as she crushed the sandwich together and took a loud, crunchy bite.

The piece of meat then falls off the sculpture.

Negaduck goes over and sits by Darkwing, taking his bagged lunch.

"What're we having?" He asked.

"Uh, it's your standard, regular lunch I guess..." Darkwing answered as Negaduck helped himself.

He reached into the bag and pulls out a thermos, setting it down on the table. "Milk?"

"Soup. Homemade!" Darkwing said as he tried to get the bag from Negaduck.

He got a slap on his hand as a result.

Negaduck then pulled out a juice box.

"That's apple juice..."  
"I can read! PB & J with the crusts cut off, Well Darkwing, this is a very nutritious lunch, all the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?"

"Uh, no, Mr.Mallard..."

"Ahhhh..."

Sara and Clovis smile at each other as Negaduck gets up from his seat. "Here's my impression of life at big Duncewing's house...Son! Yeah Dad? How's your day, pal? Great Dad, how's yours? Super, say son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend? Great Dad, but I've got homework to do! That's all right son, you can do it on the boat!! Gee!! Dear, isn't our son swell? Yes Dear, isn't life swell." Then Negaduck mimes Darkwing's mother kissing his father and father kissing mother back then father punches mother in the face.

Suddenly it's not so funny anymore.

"Alright, what about your family?" Sara asked.

"Oh, mine? That's real easy!!" Negaduck stood before the whole room and points forward, pretending to be his father. "Stupid, worthless, no good, God damned, freeloading, son of a bitch, retarded, big mouth, know it all, asshole, jerk!"

Then he acts like his mother. "You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful."

Negaduck then slams his hand back to slap his invisible mother. "Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie! What about you Dad? Fuck you! No, Dad, what about you? Fuck you! No, DAD, WHAT ABOUT YOU? FUCK YOU!" Then he reaches out and pretend he and his father are fighting.

"Is that for real?" Darkwing asked, not buying a word of it.

"You wanna come over sometime?"

"That's bullshit. It's all part of your image. I don't believe a word of it." Sara said.

Negaduck actually looked hurt. "You don't believe me?"

"No!"

"NO?"  
"Did I stutter?"

Negaduck then walks over to Sara and rolls up his right sleeve, revealing a circular shaped burn.

"Do you believe this? Huh? It's about the size of a cigar...Do I stutter? You see, this is what you got in my house when you spilled paint in the garage. See I don't think I need to sit here with you fuckin' dildos anymore!"

With that said, Negaduck walks over to a map table, throws all the maps on the floor, climbs up on top of the table and then up to the second floor balcony.

"You shouldn't have said that!!" Clovis said to Sara.

"How would I know, I mean he lies about everything anyway!"

To Be Continued.

Author's note, The family part between Darkwing and Negaduck was technically based around their past, unlike the movie side of it since Darkwing and Negs don't really have living family.

Just clearing things up.

I hope you're enjoying this all so far.

Stay tuned for the next chapter.


	6. Negs gets caught!

The Breakfast Club

Darkwing Duck Version

By Darkwingfan

Originally written by John Hughes

A tribute to the original movie

Grizlikof put an orange into his mouth and then tries to pour coffee out of his thermos without spilling it all over the place.

He tipped it over very carefully, then the top came off...spilling the beverage all over the desk.

"Oh, SHIT!" He cursed as he got up and walked into the hallway...grumbling all the way. "Coffee...looks like they scraped it off the bottom of Audobon Bay. Every thing's polluted, every thing's polluted...the coffee."

Just then Negaduck comes out the resource room, followed by everyone else.

He and Clovis walk next to each other while Sara and Darkwing walk behind them with Splatter taking up the rear.

"How do you know where Grizlikof went?" Sara asked.

"I don't..." Negaduck answered.

"Well then, how do you know when he'll be back?"

"I don't...being bad feels pretty good, huh?"

"What's the point in going to Negaduck's stash?" Darkwing asked Sara.

"Beats me..." Sara shrugged.

"This is so stupid...why do you think, why are we risking getting caught?"

"I dunno..."

"So then what are we doing?"

"You ask me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you!"

"Sorry..." Darkwing said...lowering his head as he continued to follow the others to a secret room that had a sign on the door saying 'confiscated treasury'.

Negaduck looked around before carefully placing a bobby pin into the lock, opening it.

The room was filled with lockers, each of them containing the names of criminals who have had their stuff taken away.

Negaduck walked down the row of lockers til he got to his name and opened it up.

The locker was a hugh mess.

"Slob!" Said Sara.

"My maid's on vacation." Negs answered back as he pulled out a bag of marijuana.

"Drugs..." Darkwing pointed.

"Screw that Negs...put it back!" Sara added.

Negaduck closed up the locker and walked away.

Darkwing could hardly contain himself..."Drugs...the duck has marijuana."

Clovis walked after Negaduck.

"That was marijuana!" Darkwing continued.

"Shut up!" Sara said, following the other two.

Darkwing then looked at Splatter, who is standing there with her mouth wide open.

"Do you approve of this?"

Darkwing turned to leave as Splatter steals the lock off of Negaduck's confiscated locker.

They all met in the hallway, coming up with a plan to get back to the resource center without getting caught.

"Ok...we'll cross through the lab, and then we'll double back." Negaduck said.

"You better be right, if Griz cuts us off it's your fault, asshole!" Sara said.

"What'd he say? Where're we going?" Darkwing asked Clovis, just getting half of the plan.

Everyone sees Grizzlikof down one of the halls and quickly runs the other way.

Pretty soon it was like a game of Pac-man, trying to avoid getting caught by Griz.

Suddenly Negs stops..."Wait!! Wait, hold it! We have to go through the cafeteria!"

"No, the activities hall." Sara protested.

"Hey man, you don't know what you're talking about!"

"No you don't know what you're talking about. Now we're through listening to you, we're going this way."

The others then followed Sara. "Come on!!"

Negaduck stood there, not really wanting to go Sara's way...but Splatter's squeaks got him to move.

They all ran as fast as they could down the hallway, suddenly finding themselves trapped by an iron gate.

"Shit!" Sara cursed...not really expecting some gate to block the pathway.

"Great idea Jackoff!" Negaduck muttered under his breath, but loud enough for Sara to hear.

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you too! Why didn't you listen to Negs?" Clovis asked

"We're dead!" Darkwing sighed.

"No, just me!" Negaduck said suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"Get back to the resource center, keep your unit on this!" Negaduck said, stuffing the bag of marijuana into Darkwing's outfit then ran down the hallway singing loudly, "I wanna be an airborne ranger..."

Grizzlikof was walking back towards the resource center when he heard Negaduck fooling around in the building.

"That son of a bitch!!" He growled as he ran off in search of him.

Negs gave plenty of hints as he headed towards the gym, ripping off posters and making a ton of noise.

Griz quickly turned the corner and saw the destruction left behind, and knew where to look as the sound of a basketball was heard next.

"Three-two-one!" Negs yelled as he dunked the in ball.

Griz walked in..."Negaduck! Negaduck! NEGADUCK! What is this? What are you doing here, what is this?"

"Oh, hi!" Negs said casually.

"Out! That's it Negaduck! Out, it's over!"

"Don't you wanna hear my excuse?"

"Out!"

"I'm thinking of trying out for a scholarship."

"Gimmie the ball, Negaduck."

Negaduck then fakes the ball at Grizlikof several times before setting it down on the floor and rolled it over to him.

Griz kicks the ball away as Negaduck went to grab his jacket.

Meanwhile the others were back in the resource center, sitting back in their seats relieved that they didn't get caught when Negs and Griz enter the room, Grizlikof shoving Negaduck all the way to his former seat.

"Get your stuff, let's go! Mr. Wiseguy here has taken it upon himself to go to the gymnasium. I'm sorry to inform you, you're going to be without his services for the rest of the day."

"B-O-O-H-O-O!" Negaduck spelled out.

"Everything's a big joke, huh Negs? The false alarm you pulled, Friday, false alarms are really funny, aren't they...what if your home, what if your family...no...what if your dope was on fire?"

"Impossible, sir...it's in Darkwing's outfit..."

Darkwing quickly winced, hoping Griz wouldn't quickly grab him out of his seat as Sara laughed.

"You think he's funny? You think this is cute? You think he's bitchin', is that it? Lemme tell you something. Look at him, he's a bum. You wanna see something funny? You go visit Negaduck in five years! You'll see how God Damned funny he is! What's the matter, Negs? You gonna cry? Let's go..." Griz grabbed Negaduck's shoulder.

"Hey keep your fuckin' hands off me! I expect better manners from you, DICK!"

As if taking his last walk, he took off his sunglasses and handed them to Sara.

"For better hallway vision!!"

Negaduck left the resource center, pushing stuff off the table on the way out.

To Be Continued!!


	7. Trouble with Life

The Breakfast Club

By Darkwingfan

Originally written by John Hughes

A tribute to the movie!!

Grizzlikof dragged Negaduck into a closet and closed the door behind him.

"That's the last time, Negaduck. That's the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those morons, do you hear me? I make 31,000 dollars a year and I have a home and I'm not about to throw it away on some punk like you...But someday, man, someday. When you're outta here and you've forgotten all about this place...and they've forgotten all about you and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life...I'm gonna be there."

Negaduck looked up at the large bear in shock.

"That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you, man, I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt!!"

"Are you threatening me?" Negs asked.

"What're you gonna do about it? You think any body's gonna believe you? You think any body's gonna take your word over mine? I'm a man of respect around here. They love me around here, I'm a swell guy...you're a lying sack of shit! And everybody knows it. Oh, you're a real tough guy...come on, come on...get on your feet, pal! Let's find out how tough you are!"

Negaduck looked like he was about to piss himself as Griz took off his jacket and continued his threatening rant.

"I wanna know right now, how tough you are! Come on!! I'll give you the first punch, let's go! Come on, right here, just take the first shot! Please, I'm begging you, take a shot! Come on, just take one shot, that's all I need, just one swing..."

Negaduck didn't even move, as Grizzlikof faked a punch at him.

"That's what I thought...you're a gutless turd!"

With that said, Griz left and locked the door behind him.

Negaduck quickly got over his shock and quickly looked for a way out of the closet.

High above him, he saw a little hatch in the ceiling.

Climbing up a pile of boxes and broken up chairs, he disappeared into the heating duct.

Carefully he began to crawl through the small, unstable shaft.

To calm down his nerves a bit, he began to tell a joke to himself..."A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked duck says..."

Suddenly the unstable ceiling gives way, sending Negaduck crashing to the floor below screaming..."OH SHIT!!"

Meanwhile, Griz was in the crapper when he heard the loud noise..."Jesus Christ, almighty!"

Back in the resource center, everyone continues to sit in their seats minding their own business when they looked up to see Negaduck descending down the stairs.

"I forgot my pencil!" Was his only reply...but quickly ducked under a nearby table as everyone hears Griz outside the hall.

"GOD DAMNIT! What in God's name is going on in here?" Griz asked as he walked in.

Everyone shrugged.

"What was that ruckus?"

"Uh, what ruckus?" Sara asked.

"I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus!"

"Could you describe the ruckus, sir?" Darkwing Duck asked.

"Watch your tongue young man, watch it!"

Negaduck hid under the table by Clovis' legs, trying hard not to make any noise.

He sat up and banged his head on the table.

"Ow" he groaned.

Above the table, Sara and Clovis began taking credit for the noise being done by Negaduck

by making more noise.

"What is that? What, what is that?"

Darkwing Duck also contributed to the noise, by making a zipping noise with his beak.

Back under the table, Negaduck looked in front of him at Clovis' open legs saw her pink panties.

"What noise?" Sara asked.

"Really, sir, there wasn't any noise..." Clovis squealed as she felt Negaduck's beak in her thighs.

She squeezes Negs head between her knees, making him scream and mumble, causing everyone up above to start coughing.

"That noise? What that the noise you were talking about?" Clovis asked once again, flustered.

"No, it wasn't. That was not the noise I was talking about. Now, I may not have caught you in the act this time, but you can bet I will."

Splatter laughed at Griz.

"You make book on that missy!" Griz points to her before turning his attention back to Clovis. "And you! I will not be made a fool of!"

He turned and walked away, with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his pants as he left the resource room.

Everyone began to laugh out loud except for Clovis who lets Negaduck out with a barrage of slaps.

"It was an accident!" He said innocently.

"You're an asshole!" Was all Clovis could say.

"So, SUE me..." He gets up off the floor and walked over to Darkwing Duck.

"So, Dunce...Can I bum my doobage?"

Darkwing reaches in and pulls out the dope and handed it to Negs.

"Yo wasteoid...you're not gonna blaze up in here!" Said Sara.

Clovis suddenly gets up and goes after him, along with Darkwing Duck surprisingly.

"Shit!" Sara cursed under her breath before heading off after the others.

Meanwhile Griz headed down towards the S.H.U.S.H basement, unaware of what was happening in the resource room.

Darkwing, Negs and Clovis sat in a circle laughing hysterically over nothing in particular as Negs lights up Clovis' joint.

She immediately coughs the smoke out as Darkwing laughs at her while exhaling his smoke and tries to eat it before talking in a really strange voice, "Chicks, cannot hold der smoke! That's what it is!"

"Do you know how popular I am? I'm so popular, everybody loves me so much, in this city..." Clovis said, high off her rocker after taking only a few puffs.

"Poor baby." Negs replied as loud music began to blare from a nearby room.

Everyone looks up to see Sara emerge from a really smoky room.

She inhales another puff and then starts dancing across the resource center.

She returns to the room she was in, slams the door shut then screams out loud, causing the glass in the door to shatter.

Griz glanced through the confidential files in the S.H.U.S.H basement.

"Mister, oh Mister Negs...a history of slight mental illness? Woah, no wonder he's so fucked up!"

Carl the janitor walks in, wondering what Griz was doing.

"Afternoon, Griz..."

"Hey Carl, how you doin'?"

"Good..."

"Good, what's up?"

"Not much, what's happening, what are you doing in the basement files?"

"Oh, nothin' nothin' here. I'm just doin' a little homework here..."

"Homework, huh?"  
"Yeah..."

Carl let out a laugh as he came over to have a closer look at this 'homework' that Griz was doing.

"Confidential files...hmmm?"

"Look, Carl...this is a highly sensitive area and I, I tell you something...certain people would be very very embarrassed. I would really appreciated it if if if if this would be something that, that you and I could keep between us..."

"What're you gonna do for me, man?"

"Well, well what would you like?"

"Got fifty bucks?"  
"WHAT?"

"Fifty bucks..."

Sara and Darkwing sat on the couch laughing while Splatter hanged out over by the sculpture of J.Gander Hooter.

"No, no man, no; you got a middle name?" Sara asked laughing.

"Yeah, guess..." Darkwing said.

That was when Splatter spoke.

"You're middle name is Ralph, as in puke!"

Sara looked at Splatter with confusion as she continued.

"Your birthday is September 8th, you're five-nine and a half you weigh a hundred and thirty pounds and your social security number is 0-4-9-3-8-0-9-1...3."

"Wow! Are you psychic?" Sara asked impressed.

"No..." Splatter answered.

"Well would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?" Darkwing asked, not one minute impressed.

Splatter reached into her bag and pulled out his wallet.

"I stole your wallet..."

"Give it to me.." Darkwing demanded.

"No!"

"Give it!"

Splatter reluctantly hands over the wallet as Darkwing glances through it to make sure nothing else is missing.

"This is great...you're a thief too! Huh?"

"I'm not a thief!"

"Multi-talented!"

"What's there to steal? Two bucks and a beaver shot!" Splatter said, pleading her case.

"A what?" Sara asked.

"He's got a nu-die picture in there! I saw it, it's perverted!"

"Alright, let's see it!!"

Meanwhile, Negaduck was going through Clovis' things as he brushed his teeth with one of her cosmetic brushes.

Clovis busied herself looking through Negaduck's wallet pictures.

"Are all these your girlfriends?" She asked, looking through them all.

"Some of them..." Negs answered, still occupied with brushing his teeth.

"What about the others?"

"Well, some I consider my girlfriends and some...I just consider..."  
"Consider what?"  
"Whether or not, I wanna hang out with them.."

"You don't believe in just one guy, one girl?"

"Do you?"  
"Yeah...that's the way it should be."  
"Well, not for me..."  
"Why not?"  
Negs clearly didn't want to answer that and suddenly acted defensive.

"How come you got so much shit in your purse?"

Clovis made a sudden comeback..."How come you got so many girlfriends?"  
"I asked you first!" Negaduck said.

Clovis shruged. "I dunno...I guess I never throw anything away."

"Neither do I..."

"Oh.."

Back with Sara, Darkwing and Splatter, Sara was now looking through Darkwing's wallet.

"This is the worst fake ID I've ever seen." Sara laughed. "Do you realize you made yourself sixty eight?"

"Oh, I know...I know, I goofed it..." Darkwing laughed back.

"What do you need a fake ID for?"

"So I could vote when I was younger!"

Splatter looked at the two. "You wanna see what's in my bag?"  
Both Darkwing and Sara shook their heads. "No!"

Splatter looked hurt, then resentful as she dumped the contents out of her bag onto the couch.

Lots of stuff came out.  
"Holy shit! What is all that stuff?" Sara asked.

"Do you always carry this much shit in your bag?" Darkwing asked.

"Yeah...I always carry this much shit...in my bag... You never know when you may have to jam..."

"Are you gonna be like a shopping bag lady? You know like, sit in the alleyways and like talk to buildings and wear men's shoes and that kinda thing?"

"I'll do what I have to do."

"Why do you have to do anything?" Darkwing kept asking.

"My home life is un...satisfying..." Splatter answered back, with feeling.

"So you're saying you'd subject yourself to the violent dangers of the St.Canard streets because your home life is unsatisfying?"

"I don't have to run away and live in the street...I can run away and, go to the ocean, I can go to the country, I can go to the mountains. I can go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan..."

Darkwing continues to look at her, then moves over to Sara.

"Sara...you wanna get in on this? Splatter here says, she wants to run away, because her home life is unsatisfying..."

"Well everyone home lives are unsatisfying...if it wasn't, people would live with their parents forever..." Sara explained.

"Yeah, yeah I understand. But I think that hers goes beyond, you know what guys like you and me consider normal unsatisfying..."

Splatter knew where this conversation was going and quickly got out of it..."Never mind...forget it, every thing's cool!"

She quickly put everything back into her bag and left.

Sara got up and followed Splatter.

"What's the deal?" She asked, concerned.

"No! There's no deal, Doctor. Forget it, leave me alone."

"Wait a minute, now you're carrying all that crap around in your purse. Either you really wanna run away or you want people to think you wanna run away."

"Eat shit!" Splatter spat as she walked away again.

Darkwing approached Sara and said..."The girl is an island, with herself. Okay?"

Sara shook her head as she followed Splatter once more.

"Hi, you wanna talk?"  
"No!"

"Why not?"  
"Go away..."

"Where do you want me to go?"

"GO away!"

Sara turned away.

"You have problems..." Splatter started to scream at Sara.

"Oh, I have problems?" Sara asked as she turned back to face Splatter.

"You do everything everybody ever tells you to do, that is a problem!"

"Okay, fine...but I didn't dump my bag out on the couch and invite people into my problems..Did I? So what's wrong? What is it? Is it bad? Real bad? Parents?"

Splatter started to cry. "Yeah..."

Sara nods..."What did they do to you?"

"They ignore me..."

"Yeah...yeah..." Sara said as they both cry silently.


	8. Are we friends after this?

The Breakfast Club

by Darkwingfan

Original writing done by John Hughes

A tribute to the movie

Meanwhile down in the S.H.U.S.H. basement, Grizzlikof and Carl are sitting on the floor talking.

"What did you want to be when you were young?" Griz asked.

"When I was a kid, I wanted to be Jackalope Lennon..." Carl answered.

"Carl, don't be a goof! I'm trying to make a serious point here...I've been an agent, for twenty two years, and each year....these kids get more and more arrogant."

"Aw bull shit, man. Come on Griz, the kids haven't changed, you have! You took a agent position, 'cause you thought it'd be fun, right? Thought you could have summer vacations off...and then you found out it was actually work...and that really bummed you out."

"These kids turned on me....they think I'm a big fuckin' joke...."

"Come on...listen Griz, if you were sixteen, what would you think of you, huh?"

"Hey...Carl, you think I give one rat's ass what these kids think of me?"

"Yes I do..."

"You think about this....when you get old, these kids; when I get old, they're gonna be runnin' the country."

"Yeah?"

"Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night...That when I get older, these kids are gonna take care of me...."

"I wouldn't count on it!"

Grizzlikof pondered that statement for a moment.

Back in the library, everyone sat on the floor in a circle, winding down.

"What would I do for a million bucks? Well, I guess I'd do as little as I had to..." Said Sara.

"That's boring...." Clovis replied.

"Well, how'm I s'posed to answer?"

"The idea is to like search your mind for the absolute limit. Like, uh, would you drive to SHUSH naked?"

Sara laughed. "Um, uh....would I have to get out of the car?"

"Of course..."

"In the spring, or winter?"

"It doesn't matter....spring..."

"In front of SHUSH or in back of SHUSH?"

"Either one...."

"Yes..."

"I'd do that!" Splatter piped in.

Everyone looked at her.

"I'll do anything sexual, I don't need a million dollars to do it either..."

"You're lying..." Clovis said, rolling her eyes at the emo artist.

"I already have...I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal...I'm a nymphomaniac!"

Clovis rolled her eyes again. "LIE!"

"Are your parents aware of this?" Darkwing asked.

"The only person I told was my shrink...."

"And what'd he do when you told him?" Sara asked.

"He nailed me...." Splatter answered with a smile.

"Very nice...." Clovis said, rather disgusted.

"I don't think that from a legal standpoint what he did can be constructed as rape since I paid him."

"He's an adult!!!"

Splatter was obviously relishing the attention as she continued...."Yeah...he's married too!!"

Clovis could NOT believe her ears at what she was hearing.  
"Do you have any idea how completely gross that is?"

"Well, the first few times...."  
"FIRST FEW TIMES? You mean he did it MORE THAN ONCE???"

"Sure..."  
"Are you crazy?"

"Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing her shrink!" Darkwing answered Clovis.

"Have you ever done it Clovis?" Splatter asked, turning the tables.

"I don't have a psychiatrist...." Clovis quickly answered.

"Have you ever done it with a normal person?"

"Now, didn't we already cover this?"

"You never answered the question..." Negaduck said.

"Look, I'm not gonna discuss my private life with total strangers."

"It's kind of a double-edged sword, isn't it?"

"A what?"

"Well, if you say you haven't you're a prude. If you say you have....you're a slut! It's a trap. You want to but you can't but when you do you wish you didn't, right?"

"Wrong..."

"Or, are you a tease?"  
"She's a tease..." Sara said.

"Oh, why don't you just forget it..." Clovis said...trying to drop the subject.

"You're a tease and you know it, all girls are teases!"

"She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot..." Negaduck said to Sara.

"I don't do anything!"

"That's why you're a tease..." Splatter said, pointing to Clovis.

"Okay, lemme ask you a few questions." Clovis said back to Splatter, making her feel defensive.

"I've already told you everything!"

"No! Doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love. I mean don't you want any respect?"

"I don't screw to get respect...that's the difference between you and me..."

"Not the only difference, I hope!"

"Face it, you're a tease." Negaduck said.

"I'm not a TEASE!" Clovis screamed, her anger rising.

"Sure you are! You said it yourself sex is a weapon, you use it to get respect!"

"No, I never said that, she twisted my words around."

"Oh then what do you use it for?"

"I don't use it period!" Clovis said....tears coming to her eyes.

"Oh, are you medically frigid or is it psychological?"

"I didn't mean it that way! You guys are putting words into my mouth!"

"Well if you'd just answer the question...."

"Why don't you just answer the question?" Darkwing asked.

"Be honest..." Sara added.

"No big deal..." Negaduck shrugged.

"Yeah, answer it!!!" Darkwing urged.

"Answer the question, Clovis!" Sara said.

"Talk to us!" continued Negaduck.

"Come on, answer the question!!!" Said Sara and Darkwing together.

"It's easy, it's only one question!"

Finally Clovis ended it by screaming...."NO!!!! I NEVER DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Silence filled the air for two seconds.

"I never did it either, I'm not a nymphomaniac....I'm a compulsive liar!" Splatter finally came out.

"You are such a bitch! You did that on purpose just to fuck me over!" Clovis said...not one minute impressed.

"I would do it though.....if you love someone it's okay!"

"I can't believe you, you're so weird. You don't say anything all day and then when you open your mouth....you unload all these tremendous lies all over me!"

"You're just pissed off because she got you to admit something you didn't want to admit to..." Sara said.

"Okay, fine, but that doesn't make it any less bizarre...."

"What's bizarre? I mean we're all pretty bizarre! Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."

"How are you bizarre Sara?"

Splatter decided to field that question.

"She can't think for herself...."

"She's right...do you guys know what, uh, what I did to get in here? I taped Agent Lillypad's buns together."

Clovis starts laughing.

"That was you, Sara?" Darkwing asked.

"Yeah, you know him Darkwing?"

"Yeah, I know him...."

"Well then you know how hairy he is, right? Well, when they pulled the tape off, most of his hair came off, and some, some skin too...."

"Oh my God..." Clovis said in shock.

"And the bizarre thing is, is that I did it for my family. I tortured this poor young agent because I wanted everyone to think that I was cool. Everyone here goes off about all the wild things they do. I was disappointed that I never cut loose on anyone, so there I was, sitting in the lab and I was doing an experiment....Lillypad was a couple feet down from me....yeah....he's kinda...he's kinda skinny, weak, and I started thinking about my family and their attitude about weakness. The next thing I knew, I uh, I jumped on top of him and started wailing on him...and all my fellow agents, they just laughed and cheered me on. And afterwards, when I was sittin' in Hooter's office, all I could think about was Lillypad havin' to go home and explain what happened to him. And the humiliation....fucking humiliation he must've felt. It must've been unreal...I mean, I mean, how do you apologize for something like that? There's no way......it's all because of me and my family. Oh God, I fucking hate them. They were like.....like this mindless machine that I can't relate to...."Sara, you've got to be number one! We won't tolerate any losers in this family....we came to America looking for a better life...your intensity is for shit. Win. WIN! WIN!!!!!!!!!" Those sons of a bitches! You know, sometimes, I wish something bad would happen...and I wouldn't have to try and prove myself over and over again.....then they could forget all about me..."

"I think your family and my old man should get together and go bowling." Negaduck said, causing Sara to laugh briefly.

"It's like me, you know, with my crime fighting....like, when I, when I step outside myself kinda, and when I, when I look in at myself you know? And I see me and I don't like what I see, I really don't." Darkwing said.

"What's wrong with you? Why don't you like yourself?" Clovis asked.

"Cause I'm stupid....cause I'm failing criminalogy. See, we had this assignment, to solve this murder mystery and um, and we had eight weeks to solve it. Well, eight weeks past and I thought I had the right man...but I didn't...I was way off. I got a F on it. I never got a F in my life....When I signed up for the course, I thought I was playing it real smart, you know. Cause I though, I'll take criminalogy, it'll be an easy way to maintain my crime fighting actions within the city."

"Why'd you think it'd be easy?" Negaduck asked.

"Have you seen some of the dopes that take criminology?"

"I once took it...you must be a fuckin' idiot!"

"I'm a fuckin' idiot because I couldn't solve the case?"

"No, you're a genius because you couldn't solve the case."

"What do you know about what makes a criminal tick?"

"I could care less about what makes a criminal tick...."

"Negs, did you know that without criminology, there'd be no crime fighters?"

"Without criminals, there'd be no crime!"

"Okay, so neither one of you is any better than the other one...." Clovis stood in, stopping the argument before it got out of hand.

Splatter felt left out. "I can write with my toes! I can also eat, brush my teeth?"

"With your feet?"

"Play Heart and Soul on the piano!"

"I can make spaghetti!" Said Darkwing.

"What can you do?" Clovis asked Sara.

"I can...uh...tape all your buns together..." Sara laughed.

"I wanna see what Clovis can do!" Negaduck said.

"I can't do anything."

"Now, everybody can do something...."

"There's one thing I can do, no forget it...it's way too embarrassing."

"You ever seen The Kingdom Quack? I mean that guy's been doing that show for thirty years."

"Okay, but you have to swear to God you won't laugh...I can't believe I'm actually doing this...." Clovis took her lipstick out and placed it between her breast, applying it from her cleavage.

When she lifted her head out from her shirt, the lipstick was perfect.

Everyone clapped in appreciation...except Negaduck.

"All right, great! Where'd you learn to do that?" Sara asked.

"Camp, seventh grade..."

"That was great, Clovis...my image of you is totally blown...." Negaduck said sarcastically.

"You're a shit! Don't do that to her. You swore to God you wouldn't laugh!!!" Splatter said.

"Am I laughing?"

"You fucking prick!" Sara said, grabbing Negs' attention.

"What do you care what I think anyway? I don't even count, right? I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference...I may as well not even exist is this city, remember?" Negaduck said as he turned to Clovis. "And you...don't like me anyway!"

"You know, I have just as many feelings as you do and it hurts just as much when somebody steps all over them!"

"GOD, you're so pathetic! Don't you ever...EVER compare yourself to me! OKAY? You got everything, and I got shit! Fuckin' Rapunzel, right? Saint Fuckin Canard would probably shut the fuck down if you weren't here! Queenie isn't here! I like those earrings Clovis."

"Shut up...." Clovis said quietly, but Negaduck continued.

"Are those real diamonds, Clovis?"

"Shut up!"

"I bet they are....did you work, for the money for those earrings? Or did your Daddy buy those?"

"Shut....your mouth Negaduck!"

"I bet he bought those for you! I bet those are a Christmas gift! Right? You know what I got for Christmas this year? It was a banner fuckin' year at my family! I got a carton of Cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said 'Hey! Smoke up Drakey!' Okay, so go home and cry to your daddy, don't cry here, okay?"

The only sound there was now in the room was Clovis crying.

"My God, are we like our parents?" Sara asked, shaking her head.

"No way....Never!" Clovis said, shaking her head too.

"It's unavoidable, it just happens." Splatter said.

"What happens?"

"When you grow up, your heart dies."

"Who cares?" Negaduck said.

Now Splatter was on the verge of tears.  
"I care...."

"Um, I was thinking, I mean....I know it's kind of a weird time, but I was just wondering, um, what is gonna happen to us on Monday? When we're all together again? I mean I consider you guys my friends, I'm not wrong, am I?" Darkwing asked.

"No..." Sara answered.

"So...so on Monday, what happens?"

"Are we still friends, you mean? If we're friends now, that is?" Clovis asked, trying to clarify Darkwing's question.

"Yeah...."

"Do you want the truth?"

"Yeah, I want the truth....."

"I don't think so...."

"Well, do you mean all of us or just Negaduck?" Splatter asked.

"With all of you...."

"That's a real nice attitude, Clovis!" Sara said.

"Oh, be honest, Sara...if Darkwing Duck came walking up to you in the hall on Monday, what would you do? I mean picture this, you're there with all the Agents. I know exactly what you'd do, you'd say hi to him and when he left you'd cut him all up so your friends wouldn't think you really liked him!"

"No way!"

"Kay, what if I came up to you?" Splatter asked, curious.

"Same exact thing!"

"YOU ARE A BITCH!!!!!!" Negaduck screamed furiously to Clovis.

"Why? Cause I'm telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?"

"No! Cause you know how shitty that is to do to someone! And you don't got the balls to stand up to your friends and tell'em that you're gonna like who you wanna like!"

"Okay, what about you...you hypocrite! Why don't you take Splatter to one of your heavy metal vomit parties? Or take Darkwing Duck out to the parking lot at lunch to get high? What about Sara for that matter, what about me? What would your friends say if we were walking down the hall together. They'd laugh their asses off and you'd probably tell them you were doing it with me so they'd forgive you for being seen with me."

Negaduck was even more furious at Clovis...."Don't you ever talk about my friends! You don't know any of my friends, you don't look at any of my friends and you certainly wouldn't con descent to speak to any of my friends so you just stick to the things you know, shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW and your poor--rich--drunk mother in the Caribbean!"

"SHUT UP!!!!!!" Clovis sobbed, just as furious as Negaduck.

"And as far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways at SHUSH, you can forget it! Cause it's never gonna happen! Just bury your head in the sand...and wait for your fuckin' prom!"

"I HATE YOU NEGADUCK!"

"Yeah? GOOD!"

After that, silence once again filled the air, until Darkwing broke it.

"Then I assume Splatter and I are better people than you guys, huh? Us weirdos....Do you, would you do that to me?" Darkwing asked Splatter.

"I don't have any friends....." Splatter answered.

"Well if you did?"

"No...I don't think the kind of friends I'd have would mind...."

"I just wanna tell, each of you, that I wouldn't do that...I wouldn't and I will not! Cause I think that's real shitty..."

"Your friends wouldn't mind because they look up to us...."

Darkwing laughed at her...but it was short lived as he began to get furious at Clovis. "You're so conceited, Clovis. You're so conceited. You're so, like, full of yourself, why are you like that?"

Clovis continued to cry.

"I'm not saying that to be conceited! I hate it! I hate having to go along with everything my friends say!"

"Well then why do you do it?"

"I don't know, I don't...you don't understand...you don't. You're not friends with the same kind of people that Sara and I are friends with! You know, you just don't understand the pressure that they can put on you!"

Darkwing was shocked. "I don't understand why? You think I don't understand pressure, Clovis? Well fuck you! FUCK YOU!"

Darkwing tucked his bill underneath his arm and started to cry. "Know why I'm here today? Do you? I'm here because Hooter found a gun in my locker...."

"Why'd you have a gun in your locker?" Sara asked.

"I tried. I tried to solve the murder mystery.....I mean, I....." Darkwing continued.

"What's the gun for Darkwing?" Sara asked again.

"Just forget it...."

"You brought it up, man!"

"I can't have an F, I can't have it and I know my family can't have it! Even if I aced the rest of the course, I'm still only a B. And everything's ruined for me!"

Clovis looked at Darkwing with pity in her eyes..."Oh Darkwing....."

Darkwing bashed a chair over nearby to release some of his anger. "So I considered my options, you know?"

"No! Killing yourself is not an option!!!" Clovis said, shaking her head.

"Well I didn't do it, did I? No, I didn't think so!"

"It was a hand gun?" Splatter asked.

"No, it was a flare gun, went off in my locker."

Sara started to laugh.

"It's not funny...."

Suddenly the whole room started laughing, including Darkwing. "Yes it is....the fuckin paper was destroyed!"

"You wanna know what I did to get in here? Nothing....I didn't have anything better to do!" Splatter added, causing everyone to burst out laughing even more.

"You're laughing at me...." Splatter said, giggling.

"No!" Sara said, trying hard to stop laughing.

"Yeah you are!!!"

To Be Continued.....forgive me for the lateness of this chapter...I've been very busy these past few weeks, there for I didn't get time to continue on with this story.


	9. The StCanard Breakfast Club

The Breakfast Club

By Darkwingfan

Original story done by John Hughes

A tribute to the movie

A few minutes later, Darkwing went into the music and entertainment room of the Resource Center and put on a record.

Loud music blared from the speakers.

Splatter began throwing her arms about as she twirled around in circles, Negaduck hung onto the statue of Hooter while banging his head to the music, Sara sat on the railing, banging her hands against it to the beat, while Clovis danced wildly above her.

Darkwing continued going through the records while he danced, then he headed out of the room to join the others on the counter, dancing the day away.

It was getting close to the end of the day...and they knew Grizzlikof was coming back eventually.

Negaduck crawled back through the heating duct to his locked up prison, while Sara, Splatter, Clovis and Darkwing sat on the railing back in the resource room.

"Darkwing?" Clovis began.

"Yeah?"  
"Are you gonna write your paper?"  
"Yeah, why?"

"Well, it's kinda a waist for all of us to write our paper, don't you think?"

"Oh, but that's what Griz wants us to do...."

"True, but i think we'd all kinda say the same thing."  
"You just don't want to write your paper....Right?"

"True, but, you're the smartest, right?"

Darkwing blushed....."Oh, well....."

"We trust you."

Darkwing looked over at Splatter and Sara who nodded in approval back at him.

"Alright...I'll do it!"

"Great!!!" Clovis cheered as she turned to Splatter. "Come on!"

"Where are we going?" Splatter asked.

"Come on!" Clovis grabbed Splatter's arm and urged her off the railing.

They sat down at a nearby table and Clovis took out her make-up.

She started with an eye-liner.

"Don't be afraid!"

"Don't stick that in my eye!" Said Splatter.

"I'm not sticking it....just close....just go like that...." Clovis said, closing her eyes.

Splatter does the same.

Clovis applies the eye-liner onto Splatter's eyes as Splatter squeals.

"You know you really do look a lot better without all that black shit on your eyes....."

"Hey...I like that black shit!"

"This looks a lot better...look up."

Meanwhile, Darkwing thinks about what he's going to write on the paper, while Sara just thinks.

Clovis continues putting make-up on Splatter.

"Please, why are you being so nice to me?" Splatter suddenly asked.

"Cause you're letting me!" Clovis answered her.

Darkwing begins writing the paper....while Sara was still deep in thought.

Back in the closet, Negaduck sat as the door opened.

Negs looked up expecting to see Grizzlikof, but instead saw Clovis.

"You lost?" he asked.

Clovis smiled at him.

Negs smiled back.

Darkwing continued writing the essay when he heard someone clear their throat.

He looked up to see Splatter, completely made over.

His beak hung open in shock, making her glare at him with evil eyes.

"Cool!" Darkwing finally said...causing the glare to disappear.

"Thank you!" She said, smiling.

Clovis kissed Negaduck on the beak, taking him by surprise.

"Why'd you do that?" He asked.

"Cause I knew you wouldn't."

"You know how you said before, how your boyfriend and Mother used you to get back at each other....wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity?"

"Were you really disgusted about what I did with my lipstick?"

"Truth?"  
"Truth!"

Negaduck nodded and spoke at the same time, "No..."

Darkwing finally finished off the essay and kissed it.

Sara was broken out of her thought when she saw Splatter all dolled up.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"Why? Clovis did it! What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, it's just so different. I can see your face."

"Is that good or bad?"

Sara laughed. "It's good!"

Splatter smiled.

Darkwing laughed also as he gave himself a congratulated punch in the arm.

Finally it was time to go home!

They all walked down the hallway together, passing Carl who was still busy sweeping up.

"See ya Darkwing!" Carl called out.

"Hey Carl!" Darkwing answered back.

"See you next Saturday!" Negaduck said to Carl as he passed.

"You bet!!!"

The street in front of S.H.U.S.H was busy.

Darkwing gets into Launchpad's car and leaves.

Sara and Splatter share a kiss before Splatter rips a patch off Sara's lab coat, then gets into her car.

Sara's father arrives and looked at her then at Splatter, obviously shocked at what he just caught a glimpse of.

Sara got into the car and they drove off.

Clovis and Negaduck both walked down the SHUSH steps and stopped, then Clovis took out one of her diamond earrings and puts it in Negaduck's hand.

They share another kiss before Clovis walked over to her car and leaves.

Negaduck put the earring into his ear which was covered already with several earrings.

Back in the Resource Center, Grizzlikof picked up Darkwing's essay and began to read.

"Dear Mr. Grizzlikof, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us do an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us...In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions....."

As Grizzlikof reads on...Negaduck walked down the street.

"But what we found out is that each one of us as a Crime Fighter, a secretary, a doctor, a painter and a Criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club!"

Upon the last line, Negaduck thrusts his fist into the air in silent cheer, signifying a successful win over authority!

The End


End file.
